I have no effing clue how you should talk to the person that you’re worried about. Each person is different, as is each eating disorder, and so different approaches work for different people.
Now, I’m aware that the above information is horribly useless. And so, I’ve put together a list of general things to remember when talking to the person that you’re worried about.
*This list was curated from a mixture of my own opinion and the opinions of the National Eating Disorders Collaboration and National Eating Disorders Association.
10 Things to Remember When Talking to The Person That You’re Worried About:
1. Be close – it’s unlikely that the person that you’re worried about will open up to you if you aren’t a close friend of theirs.
2. Get intimate – set a private time and place to talk.
3. Don’t be dumb. Be educated about the illness.
4. The 7 Ps; Proper Planning and Practice Prevents Piss Poor Performance – practice what you want to say before you say it.
5. Don’t be simple. An eating disorder is about more than just eating – “just eat more” won’t help.
6. But do be simple. “How are you?” probably will help.
7. Avoid the blame game. Use “I” statements like “I am worried about how often you go to the gym” instead of “you’re exercising too much”.
8. Steer away from commenting on physical appearance. Instead, focus on observed changes in behaviour. For example, say “I have noticed that you aren’t eating dinner with us anymore” instead of “you have lost so much weight”.
9. Shut up – you are not a therapist. You don’t have all the answers and nor do you need to. You have two ears and one mouth – use them in that ratio.
9.1. Look up where/how the person that you’re worried about can get professional help in case they express that they want/need to.
10. Suit up. Be prepared for anger and/or denial. Understand that the person that you’re worried about may not realise that they have a problem, or may not want to realise that they have a problem.
10.1. A response of anger and/or denial does not mean that you shouldn’t be worried. Opening up takes time and balls – be patient and pleasantly persistent with the person that you’re worried about.
Bella
the skinny elephant 